The Return To The Nest

.For The Bird's Return.

It was originally posted on the Birdman's online haven.

I let it play before reading the entry.

Suddenly...

As the Tube played Crue

It began to rain outside.

As the piano line tug at my heart strings

tear drops ran down like the trickles of downpour.

Home Sweet Home.

Only this ballad and Ozzy's self reflective 'CHANGES' can crush

any mere mortal like a blow from Beta Ray Bill's mallet.

pCe

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The Rose City Condor

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Red Condor vs The Fur Burger

Yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The Rose City Condor & the Red Condor's been laying low, under the weather as they say. After the Red Condor was literally nailed in the lower ass end I thought for sure sooner or later there'd be a return to form. Unfortunately the Red Condor's now a fucking eppie leppie.

So then I thought, "sheeeeeeeeeeeeeiiit ---son, what the fucks?!?!(plural) I wonder if my dad Snake (his gang name back in the day) would know the reason for the shake rattle and roll? Only if his buddy GearBox was still around". Then I L'dOL at that massive label alone...Gearbox. And what about his ladyfriend??? Mrs.Box. And then I reminisced about the good ol' In & Out Burger (which I always figured would be a croosh late night hang out for professional fornicators of the night life). hahahhahahhahah IN & OUT BURGER. Check out the Bird's latest post about a 'had to be there to truly appreciate that shit' style story involving a Bird (not the Condor) a burger, a Jim and a General.

After reflecting on the hilarity of In&Out Burger I was then transported to a time when I worked with a dude named Goode. This later morphed into GoodeBurger then obviously into FurBurger. And then there seemed to be a weird 'shit coming full circle' magic when after finding images of I&O Burger, thinking about our friend FurBurger and then finding ......

.

.

not your mom.she left my lap 2 minutes ago.she felt your eyes leering her way

.

.

.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Prez of the RCFC!!!!

(not to be confused with the Rose City Fight Club)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!pCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The Rose City Red Condor

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The Rose City Condor's Thoughts On Being A Scapegoat

.thanx to the chin-bot.

pCe

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The Rose City Condor

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"They Think It's An Ebike Fad, They Think It's Going Away"

...it's not going away!

Who wins?

Red Condor vs the Station Wagon which appears at 0:25:00

Who wins??

That's It vs That's All

Who Wins????

Jus Fo Decoration vs Jus Like An Alarm Clock

.

.

.

.

BETTING ENDS!

pCe

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The Rose City Condor

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The Condor Gets Nailed

Yoooooooooooooooo

For the past few days the Condor has been laying low, the wings have been clipped, just trying to lick the wounds and fly out of the nest of shit. Last weekend the Condor visited Westside Propane/Fries/Bikes for some repair action. The Condor's seat was becoming increasingly difficult to keep shut. As Junior from Westside PFB mentioned,

"it's just like a door handle on a car, it jams. It's just one of those things that happens over time. Like a car door, it jams and you just have to pop it back out. "

Awesome advice in less than 2 seconds...wait for it...okay watch it here it come now....for all of you fellow E-bikers out there, don't worry about the dealership mechanics fixing a fucking jib faulty bike that you've only had for about 2 months, just take a screw driver, pry the shit out of it (as a Westside PFB mechanic would), and keep on jarbling about "it's one of those things that happens, it's common".

????

Who knew that all it took was some sibling support (and some WD40)

So after leaving Westside PFB with a seat still fucking jib I venture cross the menace known as Niagara Street towards Elizabeth North. Trying to avoid the fucking North Tonawanda road styles I hear a car bomb go off. Then the Condor feels like she took a huge dump and the back end was now free of 50 or so pounds. What really happened was that Elizabeth North seems to be home to a lot of Rose City Roofers who just leave their tools and work related items scattered all over the fucking place. I ran over a nail and it took the Condor's tire right off the rim. After about 10 minutes of playing John Walsh trying to track down a family member who actually answers their home phone cell phone I figured I'd just strong arm the Condor across Niagara to rest at one of the Phat Kidz' crib at Elizabeth South (always bet on South AND Black). About 3 paces diagonally left there was some chi teen looking around all shifty as if he was waiting for a cream coloured K Car to drop off some killah Rose City Bud. Fuck do I ever know my home. A cream coloured K car (no Camaro) idles while the kid just keeps reppin' paranoia and Rose City Chiosity to the max. Dirty deals done dirt cheap. The Rose City Roofer Gas Huffer is just keeping six then comes over to give me a fucking increbible insight that blows Miss Cleo out of her jamaican hut of fantasy.

"Ah would you fucking look at that?!? Look at that Boss, you ran over a nail...took the tire right off the rim {no fucking shit....son} there's a lot of roofing been goin' on around here, some sloppy work I'd say. Then heads in to give his Chi Teen a blow jay.

Fortunately another Rose City Roofer of a less chi stature earns his stripes and helps me carry the Condor to safety. At that time the role of John Walsh (fuck HIM for jibbing over Banzai) is no more and I was able to get a Bro Law tend to the Condor's needs. $150 or so later the Condor has a new back tire.

Conclusion....shit's about to get real once again.

2 man enter, 1 Condor leave

pCe

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E-Bike Identity Crisis On Infinite Earths

Here is the Red Condor. My Red Condor. The Rose City Red Condor.

According to my lil pamphlet the Condor is a 'G Force ' ebike.

http://www.mobilityunlimited.ca/red_condor_specs.htm

But for every Jerry there is a BIZARRO JERRY

Now I present to you...

THE MADCAT

http://www.insideview.ie/photos/sightings/madcat_commuter_e_bike.html

TO BE CONTINUED...

horse...shit

no e-bike related shit here. If yr pissed...go clean out daddy's ass crack.

Horse....SHIT of 2008.

REVENGE

VERDICT

TOTAL

HORSE

SHIT

PCE

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THE ROSE CITY CONDOR

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Tard Swag

YOooooooooooooooooooooooooo suckas!


Yo, I've been receiving a tard cornicopia full of hate mail regarding the E-Bike Niagara Rose City Condor Blog and lack of E-Bike related stories. Well kids the fucking nonsense is about to change.

Last week the Condor and I had 2 slams back to back at work, 9-9 don't stop get it get it. There was a Manager's meeting in effect boyyyyyeeeeeee and I had to fill in the time slot. The 2 days were hectic but I was able to get something good out of the deal: free swag. Free shit that I assumed would most likely be exactly that - kife slabs on a triscuit. Not everything was utter doo doo on a skewer. Mostly just crap sitting around the warehouse (ie Shrek watches, Slipknot patches) and new releases that are being pushed big time (the new TV On The Radio, Sex In The Shitty DVD, Beetlejuice Anniversary edition). And some of most random shit that would put Banzai side by side with a Family Circus cartoon. The best was a single item placed in a clear Ziploc style bag with the opening folded and stapled like GI Joes at that fucking overpriced comic/toy shop on Yonge Street (8 fucking doll hairs for a scratched up Boba Fett with his back missle missing AND no weapons?!?!? W.T.Fuck?!). BEHOLD:

A random Lt.Worf Klingon action figure?!?!?!

If that doesn't say "hey fuckos, thanks for busting your ass all year and wasting valuable time at this lame ass "Manager's" Meeting, I don't know what the fuck does?

OR MAYBE I DO....

hahahhahfahkfhafhahhahfahfahhfahkfahahhjahavkjhsjkehaejhha

hahakhfdhahahahhahahhahahahahhahhahahajhfkajhfdkjahfaha

ahghahgahghakhfkafkajhhahahhahahhaha

Yes, COACH Muthafucking CARTER Wrist Bands.

pCe

ps, E-BIKE

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The Rose City Condor

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Third Post's A Charm (but only in 2x the speed)

and thennnn???????????????

PCE!

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The Rose City Condor

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Rose City Egg Hunt

About 3 minutes or whatever the fuck ago I posted about the rain fucking up the Condor. I remember the tears of baby J hitting my Mavi (mav-ee) jeans and feeling like a bloody cold bastard. "Brrr..it's cold in here. There must be some Toros in the atmosphere" I thought out loud. Days later I still feel like there must be some Toros around. Then I thought of The Rose City. Then I thought of Google Images. Then I searched Google Images for random images of the Rose City to put on http://www.ebikeniagara.blogspot.com/. When I think of the Rose this comes to mind: Cold, Creepers, rabbit outfits that seem like they were bought off the set from some fucking shit ass movie directed by the creator of Friday The 13th:The Series.

Annnnnnnd thennnnnn....or rather "aaannnnnddd dennnn..."

and then it was like Mr.Google was reading my mind...

A Rose City Egg Hunt in the winter time!

PcE!!

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When It Rains Baby Jesus Is Crying

This week has been nothing but a fucking tsunami of tears from baby jeez-us. Those tears have been delivering a near death blow (read: Death Blow - When someone tries to blow you up, not because of who you are, but for different reasons altogether. ) upon the Red Condor. Monday I totally got caught in the flood of tears on the way to work and shortly after the Condor's siren call began to just go off totally Little Miss Sunshine wack horn style. Sounding much like an injured feline warrior after a tremendous battle over Meco's pizza crust with Riff Raff from Heathcliff I was very concerned for the Condor's well being. The next day AGAIN I'm caught in the downpour of BJ's tears. Now the Condor's seat won't close properly. Poor thing.

I struggled with this for the rest of the week. What is the cause of such bullshit pouring from the heavens above? What is the cause for such wetness fucking up my shit? I went to the dude at The Source hoping for an answer....fucking utter clown shoes. So I ventured to Chapters Indigo Online. The only thing 4 levels of Customer Service could tell me is that my Carpathian Forest record will have an additional 4-6 weeks of waiting time on top of the 3 I've already endured. the only thing I have in my pockets regarding the cause for the drops from above is chump change.

UNTIL I FOUND THIS.....

Resolved Question

Drew33 Is it true that baby Jesus is crying when it rains outside?

Best Answer

branofwinterfell He also cries when you touch your wee wee.

So I will retaliate by throwing a copy of Slayer's South Of Heaven up in the sky as high as I can everytime he 'cries'. If ol baby jesus (not Big Baby Jesus...RIP) wants to take out my fucking sweet ride by crying all of the time hopefully I can at least do some damage on his fucking rectum with the help of Tom Araya, Kerry King, Dave Lombardo & Jeff Hanneman.

PcE.

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